Don´t think for a moment that victims are naive and stupid. Loverboys are masters of manipulation and know exactly what to do and say to exploit girls for their own purposes. That is why this tactic is so vile.
Everyone needs love. To be loved is a deep, human need. Loverboys use this human need to build a relationship with a young woman or girl. At first, the girl feels understood, safe and loved. She can no longer imagine her life without him and would do anything for him, just as he pretends to want to do ev erything for her.
Since he pretended to be the perfect boyfriend in the beginning, she will trust him when, little by little, he pushed her boundaries and finally brings her right where he wanted her the entire time - into prostitution. The hope that everything will eventually turn out the way they dreamed together in the beginning keeps her with him.
When she then realizes that it was all a lie, it is often too late. She urgently needs help to get away
If you are affected yourself, be assured, you are not alone!
Do’s:
- Take heart, your life is not over!
- Try to find out who can best help you in your area. What organizations or counsellung centers are there?
- Confide in someone: such as your parents, friends or rather a school social worker or someone in a counselling center. It is hard to trust someone again after what you have experienced. But there are people who are there for you!
- If you feel that your safety is threatened, call the police immediately! The police also have some advice for you (in German).
- Save chat histories, messages, mailbox recordings, videos, pictures (of injuries), notes and everything that can prove his guilt and keep it, even if you think you won’t ever use it.
- Report him! It is best to seek help for this from a counselling center that has experience. The “Loverboy” shouldn't be able to get away with what he did to you and shouldn't be able to do it to any other girl.
Don'ts:
- Don't be afraid of what the Loverboy might have on you. He is not as powerful as he pretends to be.
- Do not blame yourself. It’s not your fault! Without the “loverboy” you would not be where you are now.
- Don't hold on to him. From the beginning, he only loved the money you would bring him.
- You are not alone. There are people (in counselling centers and organizations) who know what to do. They are happy to help you.
- Do not think that you are not worth it. You have a right to freedom and dignity. In fact, the constitution states that human dignity is inviolable. Of course, this fundamental law also applies to you!
